We feel that we die of sadness and anguish when we are rejected over and over again by the screen of our mobile.
I haven’t used Tinder for a long time, so much so that it seemed unfair to sit down and write how the pistachio is going with the app without having the host of reality that accompanies it recently. So in an impulse between curious and masochistic, I decide to spend the weekend splashing in the dot com love bar. The mud in which I have wallowed, half fascinated, half disgusted, had men as its main ingredient (I have found very few women looking for women in my area) and their photos of torsos in the bathroom, photos of torsos in the bathroom. beach, very close-up pixelated shots, photos of men who say they are 30 but are actually 50 and, finally, something that I can’t understand: photos of men with their mothers.
On the other hand, and here comes the important thing, I almost sink into the quicksand of the biographies of the gentlemen who insist on: “I’m not here to waste my time”, “I’m a normal man looking for a normal woman”, ” I am divorced and I do not want women who bring backpacks from the past “,” Only successful people “,” I am looking for sincere women who are not bipolar “,” CRAZY NO “,” Refrain feminists “,” No to those who post photos on Instagram “,” NO Smokers “and” Hakuna Matata “. I’m not looking for a partner right now, but this calico has made me feel more alone than ever.
The dating app Badoo has just published research that says that 1 in 3 dating app users admit to having anxiety before getting a date. According to the study, which was carried out with 5,000 users of the platform, the most common fear in men is rejection or indifference and that of women that their self-confidence is diminished. Nothing new. Neither meeting people on the Internet is a phenomenon of rabid actuality (we already did it in the 90s with IRC) nor is the fear of rejection or feeling inadequate something that Tinder has caused.
It is true that one of the mechanisms of these applications, variable reinforcement, can become an infinite loop that is a source of great anxiety. Variable reinforcement makes us continually wait for a reward we have. And it is true that it comes, that’s why we look a thousand times at the mobile waiting for a notification.